Surgery Eve...time to put on the Granny Panties

This photo is from my 40th birthday party in Beverly Hills. What a fun night! I remember this moment clearly. I remember exactly what I wished for at that moment.

I wanted to find true love, I wanted to find my purpose and direction in my career, I wanted to get rid of drama in my life, I really wanted the cake to be chocolate inside, I wanted to keep all the beautiful friends and family in my life who have always been there for me. And, I got all of it. Every single bit. I forgot to make a request for my health.....Tonight, I will blow out a candle wishing for health in addition to maintaining the rest of my wonderful, blessed rollercoaster of a life.

As my friend Lissa likes to say, "It is time to put on your Big Girl Panties." Today we decided that big girl panties wouldn’t suffice: time for the Granny Panties.

Surgery Eve doesn't have quite the same impact as Christmas Eve or even Birthday Eve, my personal favorite. But, there is the same sense of anticipation. The inability to relax, the fear of not sleeping, the wonder of what will be unwrapped. Definitely an Ambien-night. I'll be really mad if I end up addicted to Ambien. HA! Sleep is vital at this point by whatever means.

My biggest worry is that I cannot eat after midnight and I don't check in until 12pm. Really??!! I'm going to starve. If I don't get fed every two to three hours, it isn't pretty. Even if it is veggies...yes, I'm adapting to all the greens.

Todd is taking me to a yummy dinner at my favorite Italian restaurant. I've got it all planned: stuff myself with pasta, bread and whatever isn't nailed down to the table, bring home leftovers and have a second feeding right before midnight. I need something to stick to my ever-shrinking belly. I swear, the only thing that makes me lose weight is a break-up or cancer. All this nervous energy and all these veggies....is that a silver lining?

So, I am all prepared for tomorrow:

Health Care Directive, check.
List of phone numbers for Todd to call after surgery, check.
My surgery outfit (see, just how you lay out your outfit on Christmas Eve for the big day)....maybe I will be able to convince myself that tomorrow is Christmas.
Fuzzy purple "slipper-socks" courtesy of my friend Anaise, check.
Rolling Stones vintage zip-front sweatshirt, check.
My favorite fancy white sweat pants and.....

I was directed to bring a sports bra that closes in front for my après-surgery outfit. Well, I could only find one that cost almost $50 and it was atrocious. I'm talking hideous. Never to be worn again. I am sorry but, I am not spending $50 on something that looks like your 80 year old grandmother would find frumpy!! So, I went to Target and got a $10 regular front close bra. It should work, right? What are they going to do? I figure they can pack me and what is left of my bosom right into it. And, zip up the Rolling Stones right over it.

I did get a highly entertaining care package today. Lots of healing positive items, including a Dr. Seuss book and my favorite item: a small "beck and call" bell so I don't have to bellow at Todd to bring me bon-bons. How have I made it this far in life without that bell?? Thank you Anaise. It is fabulous!! Todd may not think so by the end of the weekend....

I feel very grateful. Very spoiled, pampered and loved. The outpouring of support is keeping me buoyant despite the situation. And, I love hearing from some old friends that I haven't spoken to in a long time. Amazing how friendship lasts over the years and memories never fade. An old sorority sister reminded me of Meg and I's former preference for jugs of Peach Riunite wine in college. A reminder of how our tastes have evolved!!

I'm going to sign off and get ready for a romantic date with the love of my life. I'm not sure if I will write pre-surgery tomorrow or not. Thanks for listening and allowing me this forum. xo,Claire