and not just in the sports bras! RIP to the bra above: this is the one I cut opened and pinned shut with safety pins prior to breaking down and having Todd fetch me the giant recommended hideous harness.
I woke up this morning feeling so much better. Perhaps the fact that the damn drain isn't pouring all over helps a great deal. But, I think that the collective energy I've been receiving stroked me with magical hands overnight and the healing has begun. How did I get to be so lucky and not have to travel this path alone?
In my defense on the note of patience to Jenny Lell’s comment--no, patience is not and never has been my virtue. Most of my friends and other unsuspecting listeners have heard my rants while I am driving. Usually something along the lines of, "la la la, I'm going to teach my favorite yoga class right now, feeling really Zen...YOU STUPID G--D---MO--FO--LEARN TO DRIVE!!!!!." Sorry but, these people need to pay attention and learn how to drive. My Corsican blood cannot be denied. No matter how calm and happy I feel, the bad drivers get me every time. Oh well, nobody is perfect, right?
Today, I feel semi-normal and am going to wean off these meds. I'm not sure how I will feel tomorrow when I get the results of the lymph node dissection. I am praying that the evil alien hasn't been able to infiltrate very far past the sentinel node. Perhaps that extra-virtuous shot of wheatgrass I had last week blocked its progress. Perhaps the Emerald Bliss will prevent it too. I'm visualizing all these greens acting like shields, battling the nasty creepy mold-like infiltrators.
I'm going to enjoy today and have Todd walk me around the block now. Some sun and fresh air has to help.
My arm feels very weird. The right shoulder and upper half of my arm feels semi-numb. Is that the lymphedema? I sure hope it dissipates soon.
I am hoping that when the drain comes out I can go teach. Maybe by Thursday or Friday. Then again, I don't know what I'll feel like when they tell me what they want to do treatment-wise. Not knowing is really tough.
Okay, going to try to just focus on today.
Hi Claire,
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you're feeling a bit better. I imagine there will be lots of ups and downs, highs and lows, and all that stuff. I'm the most gladdest (is this a word?) that you are receiving the support and love of so many peeps. You are a blessing. It's been proven.
love to you,
Connie
You are amazing...and I'll keep saying it.
ReplyDeleteLove
Julianne
Hi Claire, someone taught me to say "Namaste" to drivers who piss me off. As silly as that sounds, it sometimes makes me feel better.
ReplyDeleteOf course, it can turn into Namaste M-F'er, but even then it feels better :)
Hugs, Christina@Active
I can not count the number of phone calls over the years that have been interrupted by you swearing over someone's bad driving. And, yes, your father does it too -- so it very well could be a Corsican thing. Then again, I have panic attacks when I lose things so we are even. Here are my wishes to the universe for the next few days/months -- I hope the drain comes out soon, I hope we get good news tomorrow and I hope, and believe, our next vacation this spring/summer will find you healthy and carefree. I love you!! Meg
ReplyDeleteIfelt it was like having to learn Mandarin Chinese in 1 week after being runover by a truck !I thought I'd never smile or feel joy again....but you will !Later on, Claire, maybe during or after chemo/and /or radiation,I HIGHLY RECOMMEND going to a support group (for ist-time br.ca gals...not for other cancers ) No matter how wonderful our friends and family are, NO-ONE understands better than others with ca.( You don't have to explain anything )You don't sit around crying in these groups either...mine was a riot , plus nice healthy snacks ! WK x
ReplyDeletealso...the arm WILL feel weird for a while...that's normal. They'll tell you not to have needlesticks, B/P taken or cut yourself etc on that arm ...for rest of your life. One gets quite paranoid about this for the first year, then you relax. But still good to follow those guidelines . WK x
ReplyDeletei must say you are a woman of many talents. your writing has made quick work of peyton's 3am feedings, thank you for sharing your story.
ReplyDeletemy best way of showing support is to share my baking/cooking talents with you but most of it is comfort foods and sweets...the furthest you can get from wheatgrass:). I will be happy to drop something by though when you are in the mood for it, just say the word!
Glad you're feeling better C. A number of my friends are sending you healing energy too.
ReplyDelete