Even the big girl panties don't cover the drain

Okay, I risk redundancy with my obsession with the drain but I cannot hide it, I cannot escape it, I certainly cannot pretend that it isn't there. It is a real, daily reminder that something. is. really. wrong.

I am including a photo of said drain, omitting the spot where it comes out of my upper ribcage because that is just gross. Just follow that long, blood-clotted tube up to a hole about two inches below my hairy armpit. Oh yes, there is some tape on my skin and several gauze bandages to absorb the leaks.

This week will be marked by a Remove the Drain Party. Please feel free to comment. Again, I love having comments here all in the same spot. Nothing profound needed, just acknowledgments or suggestions are so welcome!!

So, I'm going to ask the doctor to release the drain to take home with me. I'd like a big ritual. A dramatic ritual. Environmentally friendly, of course. Stab it, whack it with a bat, chop it, you name it--I am open!! I'm not usually a violence advocate but, I think that this drain needs a beating. A big, dramatic beating. Todd suggested stringing it up like a pinata....I like it.

In this disease with shades of gray, I think killing the drain is a healthy symbol of control. Of black and white. I've had to surrender so much, to have faith in a questionable future with uncertain remedies, I'd like to have something concrete.

As for the rest of today. Overall lovely. I'm feeling so restless at being confined. But, we went for a walk at Batiquitos lagoon. I love that place. It is a beautiful trail where you can enjoy the kiss of the ocean breeze, watch egrets and ducks while away the day, and be surrounded by trees and pure nature. And, San Diego hit 69 degrees and sunny today. I love living here.

More visitors today: thank you Randi and Lauren! Randi made us the most incredible vegetarian organic chili. Must get the recipe. It was truly the best chili I've ever had. Yummy. Todd and I stuffed ourselves. Two servings each. Oink.

And Lauren brought me the latest trashy gossip magazine. And an Emerald Bliss. I forgot how those taste. The evil Jimbo juicemaker wouldn't cut it with a banana. He is a bad person. But, I'm boosting my immune system. Green, green, green. I feel like with the help of my friends, I am doing all I can to fight this cancer with nutrition. Lots of vegetables, Super Greens and Girl Scout cookies. Balance, right?

And, la piece de resistance: Lisa sent me the cat hat!! Like the one in the photo several posts back I regretted not buying. Lisa--how did you find it? I love it. I am the cat lady in the cat hat. :) Most people who know me know that I am the crazy old cat lady in training. I don't see any issue with letting the rest of the world know. Nothing to hide these days.