Stay ahead of the Pain Meds!!

This photo is from Leonesse Winery. It captures my family dynamic quite well. My brother Robert, sister Yael, yours truly and my dad laughing at us all. We visited Temecula for the afternoon so I could really get a head start on my pain medication prior to the surgery yesterday. Nothing like a little red wine.

The recovery from this second surgery is significantly better than the first. No drain. No terrible fear at the potential of chemotherapy. Somehow, over the last few weeks, the chemotherapy became my reality. Wow. I started to do some more research in my natural medicine book on the antioxidants, vitamins and nutrition to counterbalance the poisonous drugs soon to be injected into my system. It is overwhelming.

I started reading about the side-effects again and it is unfathomable that I will be going through all of this over the next four months or so. Then 7 weeks of radiation. No, no, no, no! It is mind-boggling to list out all of the supplements I should take: the fish oil, the enzymes, the greens, the juicing, the vitamins. How much, when, on and on. What will help strengthen the white blood cells, which supplements will help diminish the bone marrow damage. It is enough to drive me insane.

I also got the first bill from my insurance company. Whew. A lot of money. And, it is just for January. No surgeries yet, none of these recent fancy scans and tests included. The financial aspect of this is scary. I feel grateful that I do have good insurance but, I'm going to be treated over the next six or seven months and I know the price of poison isn't cheap. I am freaking out. And, my COBRA coverage ends in August. I sure hope that I can get it extended.

I'm a whiner today, aren't I? It was a tough week. The liver spot threw me for a loop. Let's try to shift this. I felt in a fine mood but, the minute I started writing, the fears emerge. I've got a lot of yucky tests upcoming, including a 4 hour bone scan, the MRI with Eovist for the liver and an EKG. Whew.

Okay, shift gears Claire: I am very grateful for my family's visit and love, for Todd(who insists that I give him photographer credit for this photo), for all of my awesome friends support. My lovely girls are taking me to Palm Springs next weekend so that I can finally get my craving for lazing by the pool fulfilled. I cannot wait to just absorb some sunshine, read a book, leave this part of my life behind for a little while.

Time for pain meds....they tell you not to fall behind or they won't work! We cannot have that. :)