Two part Entry: Before the Drain and After the Drain

Part One: This photo is from Todd's sister Julie's wedding in Kauai. One of my all time favorite places and trips. I'd had a few mai-tais to celebrate the happy occasion. See the size of my grin: that is how excited I am to have my drain removed today. No rum needed.

Wednesday with the drain still hanging around. I was thrilled to wake up and glance down at the drain and see it was almost empty. I bounded downstairs to measure my lymphatic fluid output. Only 5 cc!!!! Earlier on in this process, I'd wake up with 30ccs and not be quite so eager to measure it because it meant further imprisonment. Today will be 12 days....for someone who doesn't even know how to wear a scarf, the drain has been the most challenging part of this process thus far.

And, to be honest, since I set up the appointment to have the drain removed today, I've been scared that it would start flowing again and I couldn't get it taken out after all. I'm not used to operating with so much fear in my life. I'm generally pretty fearless and I am not comfortable in the role of wimp. So, I have been a crabby little brat. You know when you hear yourself and think, "Shut Up!" but, you keep ranting anyway? Awful. Thank god Todd is the most patient person I know.

The drain is coming out today!! I am ecstatic. I feel like I will have my life back. I can start physical therapy or actually, start exercising on my own. I can leave the house without the non-zip up top. And, I'm hopeful that since I will not have to spend time dressing the drain, putting in new bandages, climbing into my tops, that it won't take me an hour to get ready.

I'm still not sure how pulling clothes on over my head will go. Teaching tomorrow should be interesting. I am so excited to be back at Sculpt Fusion tomorrow morning!! I sure hope I remember how to teach. It feels like another lifetime but, it has only been two weeks.

Yesterday was a challenge and a blessing. Kind of like all of these days, I suppose. I'd basically hit the wall with being stuck in the house. I would not do well in prison.

Jannine Oberg, who does EFT work, came over and did a session with me. EFT is based upon a variety of modalities, utilizing accupressure and meridian work from Chinese medicine. She can explain it much better on her website: www.StellarStrategist.com. I really liked it. Thank you Jannine!

What resonated with me is that you need to acknowledge and work through the negative emotions, instead of just burying them and trying to "look on the bright side." I've struggled with that concept a lot. I am accustomed to putting on the happy, strong, positive Claire face, no matter what. I am not comfortable in the dark. And, believe me, there is dark. A wise friend told me to accept that you are in the dark at times but, use the "flashlight" into the shadows to find the gifts.

In EFT, you work through the negative or stagnant thoughts and feelings and then make room for the positive. I felt a huge shift when we came to the point where I acknowledged that "CANCER" can have some of my time but, I will not allow "CANCER" to take all my happiness, occupy all my waking thoughts, take over my world. I will allow CANCER part of my attention but, I will also live my life and not allow it to invade every part of it. I take back my recreation, my love, my work, my time for me. So there!