Still riding last night's high

I didn't sleep well last night. I think my brain and my heart continue to process the overwhelming gratitude I feel at the support I've received. My brain cannot slow down with all it is processing from my oncology meeting. The second opinion is tomorrow.

This morning was lovely. I attended my first yoga class since surgery with my dear friend Kirsten, and the Lulu ladies, Laura and Maddie. We anticipated a restorative class consisting of lying on the floor for an hour or so, covered in blankets, propped up by bolsters. Yummy. It turned out to be gentle yoga and there were a few down dogs. No down dog for me yet but, I was happy to see that each day the range of motion in my right arm and shoulder improves. I hope to lift it overhead by the end of the week. It just looks and feels like a shark bite. Missing chunk in my pectoral/shoulder girdle. Ugly.

On another note, I've been compiling a list of names and numbers of referrals. Specifically, other breast cancer survivors similar to me in age and situation. I haven't felt up to calling anyone yet. Until today.

I spoke with an incredible woman from Boulder. When I learned that she was 37 when she was diagnosed, after her return from her honeymoon in Kauai(one of my favorite places on earth), that she was a yoga instructor (same studio as one where I teach here) and that she was a rockstar 7 year survivor, I wanted to speak with her. I was especially intrigued about how she used her yoga: both teaching and practicing, to stay strong throughout her treatment. She'd helped my friend's mom with a Yoga for Survivors class.

Our discussion was great. And, what she shared really resonated with me. That you've got one chance to attack the cancer with every tool at your disposal. That time is now. She didn't want to look back and regret not trying everything. She used integrative medicine: ie nutrition, yoga, acupuncture and other holistic methods to keep her strong throughout surgeries, chemotherapy, and radiation. Her story helped me tremendously. It helped settle some of the conflicts I've been experiencing regarding conventional chemotherapy treatment. Not that anybody wants chemo but, I didn't believe it would help me before and I'm shifting.

It is interesting how my views are progressing. Is it acceptance? Resignation? Fear? Kir and I were discussing wigs today. Todd and I discussed them the other night. Wow. Two weeks ago, I couldn't have fathomed that as a matter-of-fact discussion. I'm still leaning toward Tawny Kitaen....big hair. Why not? Lord knows I wasn't blessed with it. I don't think the Marylin wig is practical for everyday. Or ever.