Research and Risk/Benefit Ratios....getting technical

This photo is supposed to be upside down. A brilliant artist named Campbell Morin took the photo. Granted, Campell was missing her two front teeth and still measures her age in one digit but, genius knows no age limits! Thanks Angel Bear!

Today is the day I started getting serious about my research. I want to find as much credible information as possible before meeting with the medical oncologist on Friday. I also definitely will set up a second opinion. I'm compiling my list of questions for the doctor. I'd love to find someone who will tell me I don't have to have chemotherapy. Anyone?

A fantastic book: How to Prevent and Treat Cancer with Natural Medicine, by Dr. Michael Murray. After reading, I've tabbed the four most immediately pertinent chapters for Todd to review. And, numbered them in order of priority. With hot pink post-its. I am such a dork.

What is excellent about this resource is that it doesn't tell you to forgo conventional treatments such as surgery, chemo, radiation and drugs. Rather, it advises of how to best use nutrition, diet and natural supplements to boost your immune system, stay strong and complement other treatments. There are numerous studies on the greens, the antioxidants, etc.

There is no question that nutrition is paramount. Surgery helps. Medicine helps. Acupuncture helps. Healing work helps. Yoga helps. Prayer helps. Love helps. The resounding support that I've received definitely helps.

There is no single cure-all.

I am not convinced that Chemotherapy is The Cure. I am open to hearing the arguments pro and con. A 43 year old, very healthy, with Stage 2 cancer and spread to 1 lymph node. My individual prognosis.

I want statistics. What are the survival/recurrence rates if I do surgery and radiation only? What are they if I do surgery, radiation and chemotherapy? What about the hormone drugs? What if I do nothing else after the second surgery? What if I sell my car and travel for the next few months instead?

What are the success rates? Ratios? Side effects?

What is the risk/benefit ratio?

What are the long term effects to my immune system? This is a huge concern for me. Do I want to live an extra 5 years but, have a cold or infection every month? Or, would I rather live out the rest of my days healthy and strong? How is quality of life factored in?

Quality over quantity.

I'm finding that I straddle the natural and conventional theories and want to maximize the most from both. I'm not going to swallow an entire recommendation without questioning it. I'm not going to make my decision out of fear. I'm going to do this my way. There are no guarantees in any of this.

I cannot suppress my anxiety about work. When do I get to go back to teaching? And, how much more time will be sacrificed for treatment? It isn't just that if I don't work I don't get paid. I'm in the process of building my pilates clientele. This is all such an unwelcome interruption. A scary one. I'm sure it will be fine but, I cannot ignore the reality of it. I wish I had 10 hours of research or writing or consulting work to do from home in the meanwhile.

I want Drain Out so I can return to yoga and pilates. I cannot lift my right arm above shoulder-height and I'm having some sharp pain in my arm and underarm. You know, the numb one. How can it be numb and hurt too? Paradox.

Ending on a positive note: Happy Valentines Day! I got to spend a leisurely day with my Valentine. Watching the sunset over the Pacific with the man I love is such a gift.