Misadventures in the Mystic booth...

I am officially losing my marbles. The last one has hit the floor folks. My little episode this evening confirmed it but, the little episode tonight saved me from a complete meltdown. There is always a trade-off. Quid pro quo...I do remember some legalese....I laughed so hard at myself that it got me out of my head for a bit.

After a relaxing weekend in the winter wonderland that is Mammoth, I had one important task tonight. To get a tan. A mystic tan. My long-awaited ambassador photo shoot for lululemon is Tuesday morning and I want to look my best. I'm not sure why this photo is so symbolic for me but, it really is. Strength, power, beauty.

One negative aspect to a vacation weekend was that I had too much time to think. And, the path my mind traveled was not a pretty one. Morbid, dark, morose, shades of black. I am officially freaking out. I don't know if it is just really hitting me now that I have CANCER but, I'm not quite sure how I am going to keep it together until my surgery Friday. Until I swim to the surface out of anethesia around 5pm, I will not know if the cancer has spread. The doctors cannot know until they biopsy the sentinel lymph node prior to the lumpectomy whether this evil alien has spread its seed. No pressure. I'll be fine until Friday.

And, I've tried the Xanax to sleep and I do not love how it makes me feel. At all. No more of that. I will take a Valium on Friday pre-surgery but, that is it. Maybe the Xanax has an after-effect of lowering my IQ?

Okay, enough of my morbidity. Here's the funny story.

I used to be the mystic tan master. I've been going into that Porta-potty-looking booth that sprays you and leaves you a lovely golden tan for years. I was one of the originals because I was so thrilled that I could look tan without getting any sun damage. Over the years, I learned all the little tricks to avoid getting streaked hands, orange feet and all the other potential side-effects that occur if you are not vigilant with your exfoliation, your barrier cream, your hand position.... I could go on forever. No mistakes here.

Granted, I haven't gotten a mystic tan in a while. Just been too busy drinking wheatgrass and being felt-up by hospital employees. Regardless, the blunder I made tonight was a first.

I was distracted. I brought a bikini bottom but, it never made it out of my purse.
Forgot it. Oblivious to that little snafu, I was in the booth, shower cap in place, ready to get golden. I pushed the Start button.

Cold spray shot out from the nozzles, covering me from head to toe. I looked down and screamed.

My bra. was. on. my. boobs. I'd forgotten to take off my bra and forgotten to put on my bikini bottom!

I managed to rip the offending garment off and tossed it on the floor of the booth. Of course, I'd asked for the bronzing version of the tan and my bra turned a lovely shade of bronze. Oops....I hope I caught it in time or I'll have some funny strap marks in my photographs.

Yes, that was the last marble.