Baby steps.....

Hat hair without the hat....

Once the champagne wore off and reality set in, I realized I am bald. Bald, bald, bald. Although I was surprised to discover that my head is very nicely shaped, I'd really prefer to have some hair covering it. There was no way I was leaving the house. The walk didn't happen yesterday afternoon.

To add insult to injury, not only am I bald, my scalp is tender and painful. Patti recommended a baking soda and water poultice to soothe it. It wasn't pretty to have a white pasty cap, but it was magically refreshing and soothing. Putting the wig or even a hat on just added pressure to my already tender little head.

Rocking the baldness outside of the confines of the condo was not an option. Not happening yet. Or, possibly ever.

Today, I resolved to brave the elements. For Outing #1, Pilates, I wore the wig. Unfortunately, I couldn't quite recall all the techniques to make it look realistic and natural. I looked a bit like Miss Piggy. My students were kind but, I wasn't comfortable. I zoomed home and ripped it off and slapped on some baking soda paste.

For Outing #2, Todd and I walked at the lagoon. I sported the hat hair in a ponytail. It felt relatively natural. But, when I got home, my head was tender again. Back to baldness. It just feels better to have nothing on it right now.

Outing #3 was supposed to be teaching yoga. I chickened out today, however, and got a substitute. I just wasn't ready to face the world protected only with a thin cotton cover. I will do it tomorrow. I do like my cotton beanie and ordered three more in different colors.

I had some more acupuncture this afternoon to deal with the emotional rollercoaster that is my brain these days. I felt incredibly relaxed when I left. Then, I headed back to Patti's for a little wig adjustment. She showed me a few tips, like pulling out the little "baby hair" around my face to soften the hairline. That woman is a miracle worker. We'll see if I can replicate her handiwork when I try it again. I guess it will just take practice. It seems like a lot of work.

Enough about the hair.

How am I really feeling about this latest development? On one hand, I'm a little relieved because it is over. I am bald, bald, bald at last. The anticipation, the horror of losing my hair is over. It was one of the worst aspects of this journey thus far. Now, it is reality. No more anticipation. Just dealing with the present reality.

Round #2 is my new reality. Dealing with the aftermath of Round #2 will be my reality over the next week.

I've also been thinking a lot about what this all means for my career. I'd thought I had it all figured out and was on the brink of getting all I thought I wanted. Perhaps not. There must be a reason why all my career plans are on hold. Why I cannot move forward. Why I can merely tread water by hanging on to some of my classes. I am clinging to the belief that the universe has something huge around the corner for me. I'm just not clear on the path.

Over the last week or so, I've been reminded of my interest in life coaching. My idea had been to combine it with yoga to achieve a true balance between personal and professional life for my clients. Maybe this interim will give me the opportunity to delve into this concept more. An old friend, who is a successful coach, offered to work with me to explore the potential. Who knows? A path to explore.

My best friend Megan is coming out to stay with me for Round #2. She arrives tomorrow and I'm really excited to spend time with her, although it probably won't be that much fun for her. Selfishly, I'm thrilled to have her here anyway.
The sooner I go to sleep, the sooner I get to see Meg.