Great day!

I'm simply simmering with optimism today. It began with teaching a lovely class, if I do say so myself, at Bindu Yoga. The energy in this beautiful little studio is truly inspiring. Barbara, one of my students, was kind enough to run home before class to bring me some special lotion for the sad state of my skin. My chest and underarm are raw. Ouch!

I've been slathering on a variety of recommended potions, lotions and oils in what I now realize are futile attempts to not get cooked, blistered, flesh. It looks like someone held an iron against my armpit. Yesterday I had a disquieting epiphany. When I told Meredith that I was using emu oil, she asked me how the emu oil was made. Honestly, I hadn't even thought about it. Perhaps they milked the emu? or got it from the feathers? But, I had a niggling feeling that perhaps this wasn't the case.

Sure enough, when I returned home, I googled emu oil and learned that they kill the emu and obtain the oil from the fat. Oh no! I'm sorry Mr. Emu. I honestly didn't realize. Back to the calendula and the aloe.

This afternoon, Robyn from City of Hope, Stacy McCarthy the yoga guru (www.yoganamastacy.com), and I met to discuss the upcoming March 5th Yoga for Hope event that we are coordinating. It is really exciting to strategize and plan ways to create a successful, memorable inaugural event for such a worthy cause. I can't wait to firm up some of the details and involve yogis from all over San Diego.

I'm feeling so grateful for all the blessings in my life.

Time to slather on some more calendula aloe magic potion! Fingers crossed.

Close Call with Sheila

2 tickets booked for Sydney to Melbourne and back. A B&B selected in Melbourne and plans for an adventure road trip down the Great Ocean Road with Todd's sister Julie and her Aussie hubby Matthew. Australia is now beginning to feel like a reality and less like a fantasy. We leave in less than three weeks!

24 down, 12 to go.

In terms of radiation side-effects, I've yet to encounter the fatigue. Perhaps because I ignored the advice of my radiation oncologist and am taking lots of antioxidants and vitamins? My energy level feels like it did pre-cancer, even though if I'm honest, I cannot remember that far back right now. The skin on my chest and right underarm, however, is not happy. Red, raw, sore, itchy and plain angry at the radiation machine. I only have four more treatments to the large area, the remainder are to the tumor bed. Thank goodness because I think I'd have open wounds otherwise. Ouch.

My lymphedema arm has held steady for three weeks now, thank the lord! I'll continue to be extremely conservative and wear the sleeves and night sleeve until a month or so after radiation ends. Two of my new Lymphediva sleeves look like I've got tattoos: kind of fun.

This morning started with a potential disaster, I almost lost my wig! I went to Petco, for my Rescue House volunteer session with the cats. When I arrive, I shut the door to the room and let out all of the kitties. We've got about a dozen adorable cats and kittens in there at the moment, if you are looking for a new furry little friend.

So, as I was letting out shy Jasmine, I was petting her and Tyler, who lives upstairs from Jasmine, apparently got impatient. He reached out his paw and managed to pull my Sheila wig off of my head. Luckily, I grabbed it before it came all the way off and maintained my dignity. The salt-and-pepper chia pet head is not ready for public viewing yet.

The afternoon included a baby shower for a yoga instructor friend, Sara. It was great to catch up with her and Shannon and Amy, two other teachers from CorePower that I haven't seen since I've been sick. It feels like life is returning to some semblance of normalcy. At last.

Amazing day!

Today was amazing. Amazingly brimming with familiar and new faces, positive energy, interesting conversations, lots of yoga and simple happiness. The San Diego sunshine beamed down, bathing everything in a bright, soft light.

The morning began with Yoga for Cancer Recovery at lululemon. We've extended the series so, there will be two more Thursday 9am classes at the store. It is amazing (sorry to overuse the word but, it just fits) that a group of like-minded students meeting each week has turned into a little community already. I feel so blessed to be a part of something this special. When I return from Australia, we'll just move the beautiful group to a new, permanent location.

Today, I was contemplating how often I felt stuck this year. Just up against a brick wall, no progress, no options, no prospects. Sitting in the house recovering from surgery or chemo or the ailment of the day. I had to drop so many of my regular classes and clients because of cancer. At times, despite my best efforts, I worried a lot about what I was going to do once treatment was done. Would I be able to make up for lost time? Were all those opportunities lost to me forever? Faith in the unknown, prayers and love allowed me to believe that this unchosen path of breast cancer would lead me to something new. Something powerful, true, and life-changing.

I've known for a long time that I'm meant to teach and to write on a grand scale. I remember back to 1997, when I was so miserable practicing law that I would cry each morning in the shower on the way to work. I knew then that I wanted to teach yoga and to write, reaching as many people as possible. This path is leading me to doing so in ways I could never have envisioned. My life is full of beautiful opportunities.

And, if that isn't a silver lining, I don't know what is.

Fleeting moments on Paseo del Norte

I was reminded today how fragile life can be. Not in regard to myself but, in regard to the upsetting way my day began. I was meeting a new friend down in Cardiff to go for a walk and left the house in high spirits.

As I was driving down my street, I noticed an animal in the road. Honing my gaze, I realized that it was a cat. I promptly performed an illegal u-turn and pulled up next to him. I got out of the car to assess the situation and saw that the beautiful, chocolate and black tiger-striped kitty was indeed dead. His head was lying at an awkward angle, indicating a broken neck.

Because the person who hit him hadn't bothered to stop and at least move the cat out of the street so he wouldn't be pulverized, I did so. I grabbed one of my yogitoes out of the trunk and gingerly lifted up the beautiful boy. He was still warm so, it hadn't been long since his life had been unceremoniously snuffed out. I moved him to the grass beyond the sidewalk and left him wrapped in the pristine white blanket. I hope that his family found him. When I returned a few hours later, the blanket and kitty were gone.

So, this brings up a pet peeve of mine. I've been doing animal rescue for several years now. Often, when I speak to people wanting to adopt, they tell me that they "have to let their cats outside" for a variety of stupid reasons. No, you don't have to let the cats out. Or, they will get hit by a car or killed by a coyote. Keep the cat indoors!!!!

I wonder if the person who killed this cat even noticed that he'd hit something? Did he look in the rearview mirror and shrug his shoulders, oh well? Was he busy texting or talking on the phone? It breaks my heart.

Later, as I drove home on this same stretch of road, I was struck by how incredible the sky looked after sunset. It felt like I was entering a Monet landscape. Although my day had been colored with sadness for the cat I was too late to save, in that moment, I found profoundly grateful to be alive, to be able to enjoy the beauty of nature.

Jake and Oreo got extra big kisses when I walked in the door.

Feeling grateful

I've been feeling very grateful for all of the blessings in my life these days. One of the primary "silver linings" in this cancer ride comes in the form of the numerous amazing people that I've met or reconnected with since January. My friends have been incredible: supportive, kind, caring and consistent. I am so lucky to be buoyed up by all the positive energy directed my way.

And, I see the light at the end of the tunnel! As I cross off each day of radiation with my red pen, I feel lighter. 21 down, 15 to go. My skin is not happy with me at all. I've got some Aquaphor on right now and it is itchy and incredibly annoying. Nonetheless, red rash on one area of the body is still better than chemo side-effects.

Speaking of chemo side-effects: hair is sprouting at an incredible rate! Everywhere. Who would have believed that I would need a bikini wax before I needed an eyebrow wax? Believe it.

Todd rubs my fuzzy head, singing "Chia, Chia, Chia." And, I don't mind, even though it is silver and brown. My eyebrows are a rather strange charcoal color: again, better than no brows! And, my eyelashes are longer each time I look at them. Oddly, the upper lashes seem to be growing downward and the lower lashes are growing upwards. With any luck, in a few weeks, they will look lush again.

One of the highlights of the past few days was the Taste of Hope benefit for City of Hope and to honor the ambassador of Hope: my good friend Zoe Mohler. It was held in Coronado and was full of all kinds of gourmet food and wine. Shrimp, sliders, cupcakes and the best ice cream bonbons ever! And, Kiptyn from the Bachelorette was the Emcee, handing out roses. All for a good cause!

I'm grateful that because of lululemon's generosity, I can offer two additional weeks of Yoga for Cancer Recovery at the lululemon Carlsbad. And, my ambassador photo is up on the wall! I'm official.

On that note, time to wash the Ovation cell therapy off my chia-pet head.

Bald Bikini-clad lady Bicycling to Beach

Ahhh, the dilemma of the day was actually quite amusing. What the heck was I going to wear to cover my salt-and-pepper chia-pet head and radiation burned chest to go to the beach via beach cruiser?

The weather is pristine and there is no way I was missing out on the beach with Todd today. But, it was going to be a high-maintenance endeavor.

The issues:

1. Chest must be covered completely because of nasty radiation rash.

2. Need to wear lymphedema arm sleeve to ride bicycle and walk on beach.

3. Need to wear something to cover the head that wouldn't blow off as I cruised down the hill toward the beach. The wigs and hat hair just weren't viable. We have to cross the 5 Freeway and I could just see my wig or hat hair flying off into oncoming traffic. Is it a bird? a plane? or Britney or Gisele? Who cares because it caused a multi-car pile up.

For the bosom, I tried the rash guard. It is totally cute (see above) but it made me sweat in the house so, I could not imagine trying to sit on the beach with it. No. Next, I dug out my Corepower Yoga boot camp t-shirt and that worked. Yes. Unfortunately, my name is plastered on the back of it in neon yellow so, everyone from our house to the beach knows that the crazy bicycling bald lady with the weird arm's name is CLAIRE.

For the head, I borrowed Todd's buff to wear underneath my favorite Costa-Rican Imperial baseball cap. That way, if the hat blew off on the bicycle ride, I'd at least be covered.

The arm was just going to have to be ugly beige with glove.

It worked! See the complete ensemble above. Anyone who has EVER commented on my ego: take note!! I felt so free and happy cruising on the bicycle and walking on the beach with Todd. Cancer be damned. And, honestly, who would recognize me in that get-up?

Repercussions: sweating like a filthy animal on the return uphill bike ride. My head was drenched with sweat, as was the rest of me. But, it was worth it!

I'm not going to compare these photos to the bikini shots that I was posting back in January....again, slightly different look then Cabo with Kirsten. But, I was just as happy to be out on the beach today as I was then.

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A very good day

Today was fabulous. A reminder that even though I've had some seriously dark moments, it is so important to hold on because you just never know what tomorrow can bring. I'm always amazed at how true this premise is.

This morning I taught my 3rd of 4 Yoga for Cancer Recovery class at lululemon in Carlsbad. We had the biggest class yet with some "regulars" and some new faces. It went really well and the feedback continues to be positive. I love it! I met Angela, who is the co-founder of the Young Survival Coalition in San Diego, a group for young women dealing with cancer. http://www.youngsurvival.org/sandiego. I'd like to get more involved with them.

I'm also trying to figure out the best studio to hold ongoing classes when this series concludes next week. I'd like to offer weekly yoga for cancer recovery classes on a donation basis in North County. Very soon!

The sun continues to shine on San Diego and with each sunny day, my mood continues to lift. Radiation, no problem. Check-up with oncologist, piece of cake. Walk on the beach and a few margaritas with Lissa, fabulous!

I was thrilled to return home and find my Lymphedivas package. The two new sleeves are totally cute: much more attractive than the beige. Unfortunately, they sent me the wrong size gauntlet and I cannot wear the sleeve without the gauntlet. Waah! I want to wear my new sleeve to teach tomorrow. How funny is it to look back at how I wouldn't even look at the lymphediva website and now I'm upset that I can't wear my new sleeve soon enough. Interesting how things shift.....

And, tomorrow is Friday!