A Contest....

For all of you who've told me you weren't comfortable posting comments on the blog: I've made it easy for you! I went out on a limb and opted for a short auburn wig. Who knew? I feel like I've got an alter-ego.

So, let's name her. I'm thinking french and exotic. Brigitte and Chantalle are the front-runners but, I am open to suggestion! Please help me name her! Her maiden voyage on my big bald head is tomorrow morning to teach Pilates.

I am close to 100% today and it feels good. I'm hopeful that the next week continues this trend and I'll be able to take advantage of feeling stronger and be able to do more yoga, do more pilates, do more walking on the beach. To have the strength to live life on a larger scale and not be held back by these side-effects is all I want.

A Perfect Saturday

What a fantastic morning!

54 people came out to the free community class I taught at Lululemon Carlsbad Forum this morning. Many of my regular students from Pilates, the yoga studios where I teach, active.com, and daily life came in to support me. Thank you for making it a very special morning. We packed a lot of fun into a small space. All I can say is that I love teaching.

I'm still riding high on the class this morning. I'm not sure if people realize how uplifting it is to see their smiling faces. When I'm teaching, I'm in a zone where nothing else matters except for providing a beautiful practice for my students. My goal is for my students to be fully present on the mat and to enjoy themselves. And, the gift for me is that I am fully, truly present.

One of my favorite people on earth, Jessie, attended. I got to meet Jessie and Justin's new baby: the perfect Justin Daniel Junior. Adorable! After class, I took Jessie into the bathroom to see my bald head. She astutely observed that it must be a lot of work to don the hair, the hat, the makeup before leaving the house. Exactly. Oh well, at least I can leave the house, right?

Because my physical strength seems to be returning, I'll embark on a longer walk today. Todd and I are going down to the ocean to enjoy the sea breeze and sunshine. We are so lucky to live within a mile of the beach! Later, I'm surprising Todd with a nice, romantic dinner out. I'll create a smoky eye, wear Sheila on my head and stilettos on my feet. I will feel feminine and sexy again if it kills me. Or, if it takes a few hours of preparations.

Time to bask in a perfect Saturday afternoon. No worries. Cancer doesn't get to hold court today.

Genie in a bottle

These three photos show off the three hats that Shelley and Taylor made for me. I love them.

As I suspected, today was significantly better than yesterday. I'm just going to have to ride these waves. My lovely friend Kirsten left me a message that she visualized my cave as a beautiful place, with a Moroccan flair and satin pillows.

I'll take the cave visual a step farther: the I Dream of Jeannie bottle. As a child, I was obsessed with I Dream of Jeannie. Not only did I dress up as Jeannie for Halloween on more than one occasion, I also had a friend who had two genie costumes and we'd play dress up. More than having Jeannie's ability to blink and make wishes come true, more than rocking the pink outfit, I dreamed of running away into her magical, beautiful bottle. Voila. So, code word for going to the cave=I Dream of Jeannie.

Todd's been generously offering to get me a new pair of running/walking/hiking shoes for a long time. I have a big dorky white pair that I got on sale at Marshalls about two years ago. Not exactly top of the line in either function or fashion. Maybe Todd's embarrassed to hike with me and my giant white clodhoppers. Or, he's just nice.

In preparation to leave the house for the first time in what seemed like an eternity, I sported the wig. There is just something about the full wig, as opposed to the hat hair, that feels really weird and unnatural. Off to Road Runner Sports we went. Along with half of San Diego County. If the sun fails to shine, San Diegans shop.

I found a very cool pair of Wave Rider Mizunos. Now I can cruise with the cool kids.

Next, we hit Home Depot. Now, I did promise Todd's mom that I wouldn't allow him to make me go to Home Depot. Ever. But, it was my idea. We'd decided to spruce up our porch. We've got a great view, really cute patio chairs but, we'd killed off all the plants last summer.

We transformed the porch with a big Ginger Shell plant for the corner, two purple flowering hanging plants, a tiny budding violet for a Santorini blue and white vase and finally, some bright yellow flowers. Notice I don't list the names. Despite being clueless on botany, I do have eyes and everything is gorgeous. Now, the porch is alive with life and color.

I did have to rip off the wig after this three and one-half hour endeavor. My scalp is still tender and itchy on top. I definitely prefer the hats and hat hair.

After an inaugural walk in the new shoes, we did some yoga together in the living room. Todd made us a tasty dinner of Yellowfin tuna and asparagus. I'm feeling full and happy. Good company, exercise and shopping made it a much better day.

Each time I teach yoga, I remind my students to stay in the present moment, to live in the now, to allow each experience to unfold naturally. I think I need to tell myself that each and every day when I wake up. I accept the days like yesterday and Friday and welcome the days like today.

Or, maybe I can blink my eyes and make a wish, just like Jeannie.

Radioactive Bone Scans and Wig shopping

Whew, the last few days have been an absolute whirlwind. Tests, teaching, brow shaping, registering for the cancer yoga therapy training at Prana Yoga, wig shopping wth the girls....I am pooped.

Bone scan yesterday. I was injected with yet another radioactive isotope and had to let it cook for a few hours prior to being scanned. They continue to tell me that there are no lasting effects of the isotopes but, they did ask me if I was traveling or going to a federal building in the next few days. Just in case.

For some reason, after I reclined on the conveyor belt, Edgar the technician taped my feet together. Very odd. He flipped the switch and presto, I was rolling toward the machine. The top was very low and I felt certain that it would shave off the tip of my nose. Edgar assured me that it would not. Remember the old-fashioned magic shows where they insert the "assistant" into a box? Or, the old movies where the villain ties the helpless female to the railroad tracks? Both scenarios fit. I did emerge with my nose intact.

Teaching has been amazing this week. My yoga and pilates students rock and I am so grateful to have the opportunity to teach. I truly don't think I'd sane without it. Sanity being a relative term.

On a teaching note, I registered today to take a two-weekend workshop: Yoga for Cancer Therapy. Yes, I am taking it the weekend of March 19th and the weekend of April 2nd. Yes, I shall have my second chemo treatment on the 2nd. What better place for me to be that weekend than surrounded by healers? I can be the real-time guinea pig for how yoga can help. I feel that the training will be invaluable for me personally and who knows? I may end up using this training and journey to help others have an easier time.

After registering, I headed down to the wig store to meet Lissa, April and Lauren. I wanted this to be fun and play with it. The wig store is next to Hooters but, that is another story. I ended up feeling sick to my stomach. I think the radioactive injections are getting to me.

Trying on the wigs made me feel like I had an animal on my head. The best ones are human hair and cost upwards of $700. Yes, SEVEN HUNDRED DOLLARS. 15% medical discount. It didn't feel as playful and fun as I had hoped. It was overwhelming.

The styles that were okay length and cut-wise weren't available in the color I wanted. I'm very visual so it was tough for me to picture the hair in the right color. The one wig that seemed okay was only in Marble Brown. See photo above. I can order it in Golden Wheat (with a $300 deposit) but, I only got to see a swatch of it. Kind of like when you go to Home Depot and buy paint based on the paint square. This is how our bedroom ended up sky blue instead of eggshell.

What did I learn today? I love my friends: thank you girls for your honesty, support and humor!

We established that I am never to have short hair. Especially a short bob. Ever. Even Veronica, the wig fitter ripped it off my head and ran to get a long one. Notice I am not posting that photo here.

I just don't know if I can do it. Frankly, I thought I looked better with the skull cap then any of the wigs. I'm going to go see a few women who do this specifically for cancer treatment: they hand sew them to fit, trim them, thin them, etc. Maybe it won't feel so weird.

Can I just hit rewind? I don't want to star in this movie anymore.