Dilemma of the day: to radiate or not to radiate? I am not fully convinced that it is the right thing to do for me. I don't understand why neither the oncologist nor the radiation oncologist can give me statistics. What is the different rate of recurrence with or without radiation?
Before, radiation didn't seem like a big deal. Now, it does. What is this radiation going to do to my body? The collateral damage is just so huge from all of this. One of my biggest fears at the beginning of this ride was what would happen to my immune system long-term from all the "cure." The lymphedema is a result of my immune system being impaired. And, it really stinks.
My legs still feel super sore, like I ran a marathon. It is bizarre. I was lucky enough to have a massage yesterday afternoon and Mel, my amazing massage therapist, told me that she could feel the ropiness in my muscles. This recovery may be taking longer than I had anticipated.
Nonetheless, I will keep putting one foot in front of the other. Perhaps through a little yoga and meditation the right decision will come to me.
What does Todd think? Forgive my ignorance, but what would happen if you "postponed" radiation? Can you even do that? And would someone even want to do that, or would it be preferable to get it all completed now, on the heels of chemo? Claire, I'll pray that infinite wisdom and clarity guide you as you make this decision.
ReplyDeleteLove, Tracy