Sunrise

Hour by hour, day by day, my spirit is lightening. Not fast like a strike of lightening but, a gradual lifting of darkness similar to the sun rising on the horizon with shades of pink and purple streaking the sky. A dawning, if you will.

A walk on the beach, some yoga, a walk at the lagoon, some more yoga, some cuddle time with the cats. Time spent with Todd, time spent with friends both in person and over the phone, emails from friends, a special engraved spoon from Todd's mom. All contributions to lifting me up.

I received an amazing gift yesterday. A former co-worker, with whom I worked once upon a time in a faraway world called a law firm, heard about my cancer. His wife, a truly gifted artist, created the beautiful quilt pictured above for me. Patti even secured a tag on the quilt that says, "A Soft Quilt for a Strong Woman, Claire, we are thinking of you" from she and her husband Phil. The words on different squares are Energy, Humor, Love, Balance, Calm, Breathe, Namasate, Friends, Fearless and Hugs. Honestly, I am so humbled and blessed by the grace of others throughout this ride.

Today, I had a conversation with Kim, one of my closest friends, who has known me for 19 years. When I was lamenting how I felt I was lost and in purgatory, she reminded me that I don't always have to be strong. Actually, her remark was more along the lines that she would be extremely worried that I was delusional if I did not feel depressed, freaked out, and concerned for my future. Thank you Kim, for always telling it like it is.

Part of my plan to remain afloat is to find a new yoga teacher or two that inspires me. I'm practicing at home but, would like to have a guide. I can't practice at Sculpt Fusion Yoga, the studio where I teach most of my classes, for now. The room is heated and it just doesn't feel good on my chemo-filled body right now. I need gentler yoga then what I am used to practicing and I feel like I'm starting over! So, I'll try some new studios closer to my house. I am convinced that my daily yoga practice is the tool to stay connected to my body and keep me present.

Finally, I'm not giving up hope that somehow I'll get away with four rounds instead of six. I'm generally good at manifesting what I want.

Here's a quote from Buddha focusing on the power of Four.

"If you're respectful by habit,
constantly honoring the worthy,
FOUR things increase:
long life, beauty,
happiness, strength. ~Buddha~

Even if I end up with six, I still love this wisdom! Thanks Lizzy for sharing it with me.