Good enough to think

New Moon was excellent on the third viewing last night. Love it. Maybe I'll watch it again tonight.

The last few days have been interesting. Physically, I feel significantly better. I have a lot of energy in the morning and then around 2pm I crash for a few hours. Hard. The only problem with not having such a huge focus on the physical body is the shift to the mental and emotional bodies.

Time to think.

Time to feel.

Time to consider what's been happening the last few months. What is going to happen over the next several months. Yoga is all about living in the present. Harmonizing the physical, mental and emotional selves. Well, it is a lot easier said than done on a full-time basis. I was able to be present in my Yoga for Cancer workshop this weekend. When I exercise or am immersed in an activity, I can be fully present. Unfortunately, I cannot do yoga or pilates or walk all my waking hours.

What I've discovered? It is not a challenge to slip into darkness. Yesterday was rough. My mind keeps circling back to the fact that I absolutely do not want to go through 5 more rounds, 5 more weeks of feeling terrible, and although I've committed to going through with it, the resistance continues to rise. I don't want to play anymore.

One thing I've been told repeatedly is that I'll know who my true friends are and aren't. I've discovered that I have more friends than I ever realized. It is very warming to my heart. Most people have been incredibly sensitive to the fact that I'm not going to be "Claire" all the time. They are empathetic with my limited abilities to interact. I've got zero ability to do more than keep it together on a day to day basis. I'll keep trying my best.

Excited to be teaching again this week. I'll be teaching two weeks on/one week off for chemo and recovery. It will be a gift to be immersed in my passion again after a week off. Day by day.