Meditation, Music and Ben & Jerry

So many different experiences can alter one's mood, don't you think? All in unique ways. I am a different person tonight from this morning thanks to meditation, music and B&J.

This morning, I woke up with my usual Day-6-Post-Chemo-Irritable-Witch-From-Hell hat securely in place. Just like a newborn comes screaming out into the world, I opened my eyes howling and red-faced. Well, maybe not red-faced but, it sounds good.

Cooped up too many days. Unable to work out in any way that really feels like working out. Feeling the muscle atrophy slowly permeate from head to toe. Unable to really focus my brain in a satisfying manner for more than 10 minutes.

Recognizing my condition, I chose to set it right. I screamed a few times, much to Jake and Oreo's horror. They prefer me quiet and cuddly. I then spouted off in my Twilight journal. Almost done with it and can start on the New Moon journal. Working through the tin collection.

I pulled myself together and went to teach Pilates, which always cheers me up. I love my 8:30am crew: such positive energy and simply fun. Afterwards, I did a mild reformer workout for myself to get the energy flowing.

Prior to class, I'd sent out an S.O.S. to my friend Stephanie's husband, Mike, who is a healer and teacher of meditation. Meditation Emergency!
I needed a house call, pronto.

I may have mentioned a few hundred times that I have trouble meditating unless I physically exhaust myself first. Vinyasa yoga is meditation for me. Without the asana practice, however, I cannot calm the overactive brain. Since my practice is virtually non-existent due to the chemo and my right arm not being quite right yet, I haven't meditated. And, I need it. A lot. My goal is to meditate daily, without any need for yoga or any other physical exertion. A lofty aim for me. Enter Mike!

Mike, like all gifted teachers, reminded me that I already know how to meditate. I didn't have to practice yoga first. I just had to sit down, close my eyes and DO IT. Random thoughts popped up, anything from not having time to see the Great Barrier Reef to a craving for mashed potatoes to wondering if I should move my foot because it had fallen dead asleep. He guided me through what I assumed was about 15 minutes and it was actually 35 minutes! Calmed, centered and ready for a nap. I have a plan for tomorrow morning's solo meditation. Thank you Mike!

Later the same day, on my way to teach my lovely 6pm Pilates crew, I hit the radio bonanza. I actually sang to Incubus and Rage Against the Machine all the way to Frogs and had to sit in my car to listen to Chris Cornell's, Like a Stone. A little Pearl Jam "Black" and Stone Temple Pilots completed my fabulous set. Thank you 91x. I've got the musical taste of a teenage boy (teenage boy in the 90s) and hearing some of my favorites, all in a row, just lifted me up. Music is such a transporter and healer for me. Different than the meditation but, just as effective to shift my mood.

And, finally, the pint of Ben & Jerrys Cinnamon Buns ice cream sent me over the edge. Can you say sugar high? One issue from the chemotherapy is that often nothing tastes cold enough. Even putting ice in water fails to make it more than lukewarm to me. Thus, I've been craving ice cream and I'm not an ice cream person. I like my sweets to be baked. Cookies, cake, cupcakes, brownies: that's my MO. Cancer-Claire prefers ice cream and frozen yogurt. The ice cream feels just cool enough. So cool in fact that I looked down and I'd polished off the pint. I guess all that singing made my throat extra dry.

Tonight, I feel great. Choosing to take action and ask for help with the meditation was all I needed to start me in the right direction. Tomorrow, I will wake up with a smile.