Journey back to a new reality

I think that I may finally be feeling like myself. What a transition!

So, I highly recommend that anyone completing treatment for any kind of cancer should hightail it out of town for a vacation afterwards. Somewhere that you will be present and engaged, without pesky distractions like hospital gowns. I'm still riding the high from our trip to Australia. The last nine months really seem like a faraway dream.

This week marks a return to a "regular" work schedule. I must admit that this is harder than I realized. First of all, it isn't viable for me to return to several of the classes and clients that I had to leave this year. I am mourning the communities at active.com and Sculpt Fusion Yoga, where I am no longer a regular fixture. The people have been fabulous and supportive and I want to be there in the capacity that I was pre-cancer but, it isn't looking like an option.

Many other doors have opened and are opening and for that, I am grateful and happy. I love starting fresh and having that excitement and anticipation of growth. Lord knows I've done it enough! And, knowing that I am not the same as I was in January when this all began means that I am not returning to my old life. Instead, I am launching into a new life, whether I am ready for it or not. Even if I did go back to my exact former schedule, too much has changed.

I'm still a little shocked when I catch my reflection in the mirror and see the champagne blonde cropped hair! Who is that tough, chic creature? Talk about changed. But, it is so freeing to leave the house without it even occurring to me to cover my head. Fabulous.

If I focus too much on what the future holds, I feel overwhelmed and not a little bit fearful. So, I remind myself to take it day by day and live in the present. My intent this week is to do that, no matter what. One of my daily intentions is to exercise for an hour each day, no matter what. I need to rebuild my physical strength and fortify my mental clarity and emotional calmness.

So far, two yoga classes and a hellish hour (seemed like ten) in Pure Barre on Monday. The two yoga classes have not alleviated the incredible soreness I am experiencing in my entire derriere yet. Ouch! I should be able to walk normally by Friday and plan on hitting Pure Barre again. Pure Barre La Costa is offering free classes to cancer survivors for the entire month of October. Generous and amazing.

Tomorrow I may make it to Zumba finally! Because now I can!

Ambassador Challenge!

Rollercoaster...whoo hoo hoo hoo.

Rode the Cinnamon Bun ice cream high until 1pm today.

I woke up and meditated, with the assistance of Jake and Oreo. It wasn't pretty. My mind was flying all over the place but, I persevered, observed the million thoughts per minute, and when I opened my eyes, 20 minutes had elapsed. Success. Practice and persistence. Perhaps first thing in the morning isn't the best time for me because I wake up raring to get started and that makes clearing the mind a little tough. I'll experiment tomorrow.

Drumroll....big news: I am officially registered with CoachU, the leading global provider of coach training programs! I'm enrolled and ready to start in July. I love school. I am so excited!

The program is provided via teleclasses and one of my initial classes is at 6am on Thursday mornings. For some reason, Todd finds this amusing. I taught a 5:30am yoga class for three years. 5:30 AM! I used to do Outside Sales in an "East Coast" company that didn't care about people on the "West Coast" and routinely scheduled mind-numbing conference calls at 5 and 6am. So, there is no reason why I cannot roll from bed to desk, armed with major caffeine and sit on the phone and computer at 6am. As long as Skype isn't involved, I'm safe in my Hello Kitty pajamas.

My energy took a dramatic dip this afternoon. The cats are so happy that I've seen the light about numerous daily naps. It is so weird how I can feel fine one moment and the next I absolutely must lay down. Boom, no warning. It is part of what makes me nervous about going to yoga or other classes: that I'll just zonk out in the middle. Like the Energizer Bunny. Only two weeks to my final chemo so, I expect my energy to return in July.

Just in time for Lululemon Ambassador Month! We had our first official Ambassador meeting this evening and I was thrilled to meet some of the other Ambassadors for the first time. What a line-up! From Tim Miller of the Ashtanga Yoga Center, to Shannon of Pure Barre La Costa, to Gina the Soccer Coach/Runner/PhD candidate, to Robert "Mr. Kettlebell", to Dejinira the amazing Personal Trainer and Zumba Master, it is quite a group. Add Dre, Natalie and Laura from Lulu and it was an inspiring evening. I am honored to be part of this group.

Lots of brainstorming occurred and we agreed that it was a fabulous idea for the Ambassadors and the Lululemon Carlsbad community to have a July challenge where we all get out of our comfort zones and run around taking everybody else's classes and workouts. It will be so much fun to be part of this challenge and I am sure highly entertaining to see the yogis do kettlebells and the runners get on a little zumba and and and....the possibilities are endless. I can't wait.

But, for tonight, my energy has once again elapsed.

Night night.