You know sometimes when something seems to good to be true?
I must admit that I was feeling a bit virtuous this weekend at how well I was handling my first chemotherapy. Perhaps I was even a little self-righteous. Look at me: I'm eating right, I'm doing acupuncture, I'm going on walks and I don't feel too bad. Side-effects: piece of cake. I can handle this, no problem. Laa-dee-daaa.
Well, that didn't last. Sunday evening came crashing down around my ears in the form of a big fat Bone Pain Bat over the head. Whoever named it something as innocuous as Bone Pain should be punished. Must come up with a new name.
A more accurate description: jaws of death gripping the back of the skull and pulverizing said skull into dust. Slow, inexorable crushing of the bones in a vice. Does anyone recall that scene with Joe Pesci from Goodfellas? Every single bone being crunched between pliers. Not just a "bone" but, I'm talking the back of the skull, each vertebra, every tiny bone...throughout my entire body.
Now, I do recall my sister telling me that she'd experienced Bone Pain after her chemotherapy treatments. I apparently had no clue what she meant. I've had issues with my back, neck, knees and know what it feels like for the joints to ache or grind or hurt....Naively, I assumed my sister had aches like arthritis or a headache. Silly silly me.
BONE PAIN DRAMATIZATION:
The Bone Pain gripped me in its clutches and twisted so hard that it forced me to my knees. It started with a migraine headache: that spike behind your eyes and pressure that makes it impossible to open your eyes fully. Imagine that spike extending down your neck, spearing along your collarbones and shoulder blades before inexorably creeping down to your lower back. With relentless intensity, the pressure grew. I tried shifting to different positions to avoid the pain in one area. A fleeting respite and then the pain resurfaced in a new locale. Repeat.
Can you tell I couldn't sleep Sunday? I get dramatic when I don't sleep. I threw a vicodin at the BP, who chuckled at my paltry efforts. Feeling like I'd been drawn and quartered, I had to drag myself to teach pilates yesterday morning. Luckily, my two clients are kind and forgiving and experienced. I had to have the rest of my schedule covered.
After returning from Frogs, I took a Percocet AND an Ativan because I was feeling nauseous too. Take that Bone Pain!!!! Finally, I slipped into a semi-coma for four hours and escaped the unbearable pain.
Let's just say Monday was a waste. I did learn that Claritin is often given to help counteract the effects of the Neulasta BONE PAIN. I bought some yesterday, this is getting expensive, and I'm not sure if it helped too much. Next time, I know to take the Claritin pre-Neulasta shot. I'll also go to acupuncture for the bone pain too, since it worked so well for the nausea.
Note to self: do not get pompous about how well you are handling cancer treatment. I will be prepared for Round 2. Hopefully, no more surprises. Round 2 comes with a wig..
This week I will focus on more friends, family, yoga, laughter and love to keep me floating on. And, I'm hoping to wake up in the morning sans the BP.
