Shiny new Tang orange Lululemon bag packed:
Bamboo soft throw to snuggle into: check
New In Touch and In Style magazines: check
March by Geraldine Brooks: check
Ipod and Ipod with movies: check
Earphones (almost forgot!): check
Chemotherapy at 8am sharp. Pre-chemotherapy acupuncture at 7am. I've been trying not to freak out all day but, it has been a challenge. I started on the 3 days of steroids and that did not enhance my usual angelic patience while sitting in traffic on the 5 this morning. Compounding my stress: the liver biopsy yesterday may go down as the worst procedure to date.
There is a reason I didn't post last night. Residual pain and nausea from the "twilight" sedation and vicodin and the needles that entered into my right lower rib cage. The Amazing Angie drove down after training her clients in Hollywood to take me to the hospital. We left at 12:30. Admittance, more blood work, entry into a shared room with curtains between the patients. The doctor was supposed to do the procedure at 3pm but, didn't come to my partition until 4:22. So, I lay there in the bed, with an IV in my arm for over two hours waiting.
When he finally arrived, he went over to the man across the way saying hello to Mr. Petretti. I was a tad bit worried. I was yelling "Over here, Ms. Petretti over here!!" Finally, the nurse got him and we got down to business.
He confirmed Dr. K's concerns that he might not be able to see the spot on the CT scan and if so, we couldn't do the biopsy. I informed him that I was visualizing that as the case and that I'd prefer to skip the biopsy, thank you very much. I preferred to leave prior to him sampling some of my liver. Liver, liver, liver. With fava beans and a fine chianti. I need to banish that visual!
I was wheeled in for the CT scan without sedation. Ah, the novelty. No, my feet were not taped together like in the bone scan. No, my boobs did not have slots in which to rest. No, I wasn't injected with radioactive isotopes or dye. So far, so good.
Instead, I was face down with my arms overhead. It was very uncomfortable due to the 2nd lumpectomy 11 days ago. And, the lymph node incision. And, my artificial disc in my neck. To add insult to injury, the nurse stuffed little plastic tubes of oxygen up my nose. The piece de resistance was taping together my wrists over my head with an ace bandage. As I looked over at the tech team, two nurses and the doctor were watching me from behind a big glass window; let's just say I felt a little odd.
Oh yes, they told me to make sure not to move. Ummm, how would I? They also had a strap over my legs. Again, liver with fava beans and a fine chianti. Ick.
Dr. N came over and told me that he could do the biopsy. Bring on the twilight sedation. Not full anesthesia but, apparently it gives you amnesia. I haven't forgotten the indignities of the position but, I don't recall him sticking the biopsy needle into my back four times and taking small pieces of my precious LIVER out. I definitely felt it. And, I can still feel it. I got two vicodin afterwards and I wonder why I've felt sick and terrible all day? The biopsy spot hurts a lot.
No, we don't have the results yet. Dr. K told the path lab to page her when they arrive. I spoke to her today and I think she is incredible. Whoever told me that she was kind of "stern" missed out because she told me a semi-racy joke today. Hilarious. Maybe she feels comfortable with me. I trust her implicitly, which feels good on chemo eve.
I also had my post-op appointment and the margins were clear on the second lumpectomy and I don't see the surgical team for 6 months of so! Yay, my dance card is emptying out. If I just have to go to chemo every three weeks, it will seem like heaven. I should have my own reserved spot at Scripps after the last few months. I've literally been there almost every single day. How refreshing to have some time to myself again?
Let's see: positive and silver lining. Well, I was thrilled to receive the proofs from my Lululemon Ambassador shoot from last month. Yippee! Shooting at the break of dawn was definitely worth it. The light, the sky, the setting, the colors all turned out beautifully. It was a wonderful distraction yesterday to pore over looking for my favorites, knowing that soon I'll be up on the wall at the Lululemon Carlsbad! I look strong and healthy in all the photos. And my hair doesn't look half bad either. HA!
Also, feeling very grateful for the continued support from everyone. Please keep it coming. Believe it of not, I think I'm getting to the tough part. I think chemo will be a breeze after all the tests but, I'm not going to be happy to feel fatigued, sick and bald. I am not going to get very sick, I am going to teach as much as I can and I am going to get through this. June 24th is the last chemo date. Bring it on!
